The star
When the star falls down
Please grow it by tears
Then it will let you be more stronger
When the star is not shining anymore
Please kiss the star
Then it will shining for you again
When the star passes by the sky
Please pray a hope for you
Then the star will achieve your hope
The Poem : The star
Moderator: EC
-
YeYuJun
- Member
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:17 am
- Status: Learner of English
-
shakespear
- Top Contributor
- Posts: 973
- Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
- Status: Teacher of English
- Location: turkey
Re: The Poem : The star
there's a mistake in the 6th line " will shining" ....you've to say: will be shining OR will shine.
in these lines you use many tenses, i.e: you use: present simple, present continuous and future any way...i hope you use grammar correctly.
i think you have good idea in this poem.
congratulations.
in these lines you use many tenses, i.e: you use: present simple, present continuous and future any way...i hope you use grammar correctly.
i think you have good idea in this poem.
congratulations.
our life is like a night mare
-
YeYuJun
- Member
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:17 am
- Status: Learner of English
Re: The Poem : The star
Thanks to let me know these mistakes, I'll correct them on the next time. 
-
shakespear
- Top Contributor
- Posts: 973
- Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
- Status: Teacher of English
- Location: turkey