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whenever I went back to my mother's smoky hut, I felt like running away from reality, the reality that we will forever be poor.
the only option I had is through my education, yeah am doing good in class but will I even go pat high school level? if uniform itself has become too difficult to buy then where will I get school fees? am back to my smoky house simply because my Principle could no longer keep me in school with my uniform patched with different coloured clothes. it seemed as if I had started my own uniform In his school.
my mother was still in bed, coughing continuously, then surely could I tell her that am again chased to get a new uniform? sat by her side and the fever was so high. I took a piece of cloth deep in water and placed on her forehead. I could see tears dripping down her chics but I had to be strong for her. she has been sick for the last two month and the medicine she got from our public hospital isn't helping. I had no option at the moment, my final exams were just a week away and I had to do it even if I got no fees to further my studies.
Mazda! my mother called out with a weak voice
Yes, mom!
go back to school it's getting late.
ok mom, kindly takes care.
I rushed to Mama Obado, our neighbour.
Mama Obado! Mama Obado! I called out for her, no one was in the house, I look across the compound into her farm and I saw her bending to collect some yam.
Mama Obado!
Yes, Mazda! what are you doing here and all the children are in school?
Mama Obado I came to check on mom, I lied again. kindly will you look after her till I come back from school?
that's okay my daughter, just run back, you know we expect you to be the first position and I know and trust in you that you will get a good grade, so go my daughter, go!
her words took the better part of me, I know am doing my best to achieve a good grade but will I go past this?
"God you always have our back am leaving all this to you," I thought to myself and run off to school.
on reaching to the school gate, the watchman could not let me in, the principle gave instruction not be allowed back without new uniform.
I had to speak with the watchman and reason with him at least to let me in for this one week only to finish my exams, I pleaded with him at long last he allowed me in.
make sure the principle doesn't see you in class
I promise, thank you, sir
I run off to class and continued with my lessons as I hide from the principle by all means.
it was a tough decision but I had to do what I had to do. I was afraid if I wait to get uniform at home the exam might start without me.
My mother was getting weaker, I had no one to turn to. I have not met any of my relative in this small village of ours, my mother has never told me anything to do with my after or any of her relatives. we had received some help from wellwishers back in the days but now I cannot visit them for the same help. Am running out of option.
Mama Obado brought some yams for us to cook and when she saw my mothers condition she had to ask me out as she spoke with my mother. I really did not know what they were talking about but I saw Mama Obado living with a sad face.
as it is with our culture am not supposed to ask a lot of question from my elders, so I had to wait till they will open up to me. I continued taking care of my mother with a cold water compressor to at least late her fever goes down and she could stop sweating too much.
our exam started and we all did our level best and it all came to end. I had to go back home as I wait for the result to be out. I had to make ends meet and so I started working on peoples farm to get some food and money.
Mama Obado came to me and to me to visit Mzee Makazi at his residence to see if he could give me a job in place of my mother since she worked for him over a decade.
I saw the idea was good so I started my journey to Mzee Makazi's home. Arriving at his home I found Mzee Makazi reading newspaper in his compound as he was taking a glass of wine in his hand.
Greetings Sir!
Owh! whom do we have here? Mazda! how have you been? you finally came to visit an old friend?
Sir! how have you been?
Am doing good.
the gazing he was giving me was making me uneasy and so much uncomfortable. Mzee Makazi had a big factory that was making Gas and acids for the local government and he was a known person around the area.
his appetite for small girls was well known to many and his selfish demand was getting better of the people around.
Sir! I came to ask for your help. My mom has been sick for the last three month, her situation is getting worst day by day, so sir, kindly if you do not mind kindly loan us her hospital bill and I will start working for you to repay you freely in your company.
Mazda! you are a clever girl and so beautiful for that matter, you do not need to work in the company to repay my money, we can come to a good agreement and it will be a win-win situation.
what do you mean sir?
I thought you are sharp enough to understand this.
pardon me!
what am trying to say is that you are in a better position to help your mother without working in my company
but how will that be sir?
by becoming my fifth wife.
I almost lost my temper but I had to calm down since I really needed money to take my mother to the hospital.
sir kindly allow me to work in your company before making that decision and see how much I will be of benefit to your company.
just listen to what an old and wise man is telling you for your own benefit.
I had to leave his place without any help. went back to mom but things become worse my mother was running out of breath and no one was around to help. I had to rush to Mama Obado to come and help her.
when mama Obado came my mom was quite and sleeping calmly unlike how I left her before running to mama Obado.
mama Obado started calling her by her name and started to listen to her heart I really had to understand the reason but I believed my mother was ok.
Mama Obado asked me to go and call two of our neighbours and after I went to call them they asked me to go and wait for outside. I was now getting fade of all these adult talks. my heart is not at ease. I was getting stomach butterflies. I really do not know what was going on but I just want to be by my mother's side. I Have to stay with her until can raise some cash for her hospital bill. After some few minutes, I saw people coming at large to our house some even crying. what was happening? all I had on my mind was the one question.
I could no longer wait to be called back. I rushed to our little hut and I found my mother was fully covered. people started taking me outside but my legs could not move, really want to see my mother.
then Mama Obado came to me crying, Mazda, Am really sorry, your mother has left us.
what did she mean? how can my mother leave us yet I can see her sleeping here?
Mama Obado are you okay? but my mom is on her mattress sleeping, how could she leave us?
Mazda My daughter, your mother went to be with angels.
Now it dawned on me. I could not still believe this, I run to my mother I had to wake her up, I need answers mom, please just for ones come and tell me the one you left me with, I need to also know where my dad is so that I can answer other children's question, mom, you were never fair to me. did she even hear what I told? am I crying on deaf hear?
God please we are always taught that in everything you do to us, you always have the best reason for it, what is the reason for you to take away, my mom? who will I be left with?
I needed some alone time and I had to rush to mama Obado's farm to get some alone time.
people were busy preparing for my mother's burial, as our culture does not allow us to keep the dead person more than a day.
I was wondering where all these people were when my mother was sick, why didn't they come to take her hospital? why are they contributing to her burial actively now?
there and then I started hating poverty together with my community people. the world was so much unfair to me. the thought of living alone gave me some shiver. I could not stand it. I had no option may my destiny is to live in a poor condition till I die nobody like my mother. the village has no opportunity for me to change my destiny. I need to run to other places to change my destiny. this now made my mind active, the effort of changing my destiny started to make my mind active and my heart pounds faster.it was already late at night before I could realize that my mother was already buried. it had no importance to me since I could never be allowed to see her for the last as long as they have dressed her in that white clothes and tied her up.
I left for our hut and the people who were left behind were discussing what to do with me. I had to sit back and listen to what they had for me. After discussion, everyone left for their houses leaving me all alone. That's when I realized no one will be there for me apart from myself. I had to look for sleep but I could not get any. the memory of my mother sleeping by my side kept on tormenting me. I could not imagine living all alone. where will I start? the night was so long and unwelcoming. at long last it was morning, I had no energy to do anything, even walking to the door was so uneasy for me. my mind was so much occupied, tears kept on dripping down my chick. it is so much like being in that grave with my mother. The world doesn't seem comfortable anymore. as I was walking I did not realize I was already out of our compound, I got astonished me a hooting motorcycle.
I went back to sit in front of our hut as I was trying to play around with small stones scattered in the compound. then came Mama Otis, our second neighbour. she brought me a porridge to take and she gave me some words of encouragement that uplifted my mood a little bit.
yesterday people filled my compound for a very sad occasion but today I saw the same people coming towards our hut singing and praising God. as soon as they entered the compound than some of them currying so high up. congratulations! congratulation! you made! you have made your community proud.
our principle was the led in this. I was not happy as they were, it was as if the result belonged to them but not me. after taking me round the market they brought me back to our hut and some left others sat back as they were talking about me and other few students who did well in their exams.
I ran towards my mother's mattress to show her good news, the bed was empty!
I went back shading more tears and feeling so useless. what will I do with this result, who will even help me go to university? how will I make it without my mother?
then all over sudden I had a strange feeling, I felt as if my mother was there with me. I had as if she was telling me all was well. I felt as if she was telling me to believe your help will come from above. I do not know what changed me but all over sudden my heart was relieved off all the stress and I was happy inside and contented. since then I believed God is always there for us and kept on praying as I waited for my help to come from above. I had all the faith in me and this pushed me to work more had in peoples farm and to make sure I made ends meet no matter.
it was bright Sunday morning as I was preparing for the prayer section I heard someone calling out for me, I went out to see who it was and I realized it was my old school principle. he had some file in his had and he seems happy.
greetings sir!
greetings Mazda! today the lord has done it for you. here with me, I have a scholarship form with me. it was brought to me this morning from our government officials and it's clearly stating that you got a full scholarship to the University of Chicago.
my mouth was wide open, I could not say a thing or do anything, my happiness was beyond control. this was the day that the Lord has made for me. I had to rejoice and be glad in him.it was all like a dream but I believed my destiny was to be changed one of these fine days. to be continued.....