How to make requests in English

When you ask for help is one of the most important times to be polite in English, but there are many typical mistakes and differences in formality that you need to know to make requests well. This article reviews the most useful requests phrases, more polite requests phrases, common problems with requesting, and then how to end such exchanges.

You can also find a list of requests phrases by level here.

The most common and useful requests phrases

The most useful phrase by far for requests is “Could you/ I…?”, as in:

• “Could I borrow your pen?”
• “Could you help me move this table(, please)?”

“I’d like… (, please)” can also be used with nouns in similar situations, as in “I’d like a mega-burger, large fries and a diet soda, please” (but see below for “I’d like you to…”)

Especially in British English, it is also common to use the more casual version “Can I/ you…?” in situations where it is not necessary to be so polite such as with friends and when you are the customer, as in:

• “Can you give me a hand with this maths problem?”
• “Can I have another fork, please?”

Making requests more formal and polite

If you need to get more formal, for example when you are dealing with a customer, the easiest way is to add words to make the request longer, as in:

• “Could I/ you possibly…?”
• “I would be very grateful if you could…”

Less common (but still useful) longer and more polite phrases include:

• “Do you think that you could…?”
• “Could you by any chance…?”
• “Any assistance you could give me with… would be greatly appreciated”
• “I don’t suppose you could….”
• “I was hoping you could…”

You can also add more words at the end of the request like:

• “…if that’s not too much trouble”
• “…if you don’t mind”

In American English, you can use also “May I…?” for polite requests, but in British English this only has the slightly different meaning of asking for permission.

A way of making requests more polite that also works in more casual situations is to be more indirect, often meaning not actually making a request, as in:

• “Do you have an eraser?”
• “Do you know how to use a Mac?”
• “I heard that you are really good at…”
• “I’m having some trouble with…”

These kinds of phrases can also be used to lead up to requests, as in:

• A: “Do you have your dictionary with you?”
• B: “I think so. Yes, here it is”
• A: “Could I borrow it for a second?”

Typical mistakes with making requests in English

The most problem with making requests in English is accidentally commanding someone/ ordering someone/ giving instructions instead. For example, if you say “Please sit down”, that is a command and so means that the other person has no choice, perhaps because you are on a plane that is going to land. In contrast, “Could I sit here?” is a request to which the other person could say no. It is therefore usually very impolite and unsuitable to tell someone like a business contact “Please send me the details” instead of “Could you send me the details?” Note that “please” makes no difference to either requests or commands, so “Please shut up” with “please” is still an order, and “Could you turn that down?” without “please” is still a request.

Requests language is sometimes used for polite orders (e.g. if a security guard says “Could you open your bag, please?” but really means “Please open your bag”) but commands language cannot be used for requests (so we don’t say “Come here” to a waiter unless we are very angry). It is therefore best to avoid commands language as much as possible.

Language for orders/ commands/ instructions that should not be used when you actually want to make a request include:

• the imperative (as “Tell me your name” is very different from “Could you tell me your name?”)
• “Would you please…?” (because the polite command “Would you please work on Sunday?” is very different from “Could you please work on Sunday?”)
• “I’d like you to…” (because the polite command “I’d like you to give me a refund” is different from the request “I’d like a refund”)
• emails ending with “Thank you for your cooperation”

“Would you mind…?” can be used for either requests or commands. However, you need to be careful about your intonation in “Would you mind…?” requests and the responses can be confusing, so it’s best to avoid this phrase.

How to end requests

If your request was granted during the conversation, it’s nice to briefly mention that at the end with “Thanks again for…”, as in:

• “Thanks again for helping put up the bookcase”

In contrast, it is not usual to mention a request for future action again at the end of the conversation, because phrases like “Thanks again for agreeing to…” could sound like you really mean “Don’t forget to…” It is more common to end request emails with “Thank you in advance”. However, when possible, it is best to make this less high pressure by changing it to more informal versions (“Thanks” or “Cheers”) or just asking for future contact (“I look forward to hearing from you”).